Moment of expression

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Moment of expression

by Alienhippy

Moment of expression

Sitting, writing no more time for hiding

Not finding the right words

Knowing they will flow

If only I let go and allow myself to be

Wanting to be real

Is this fear that’s taking hold?

This tightening I feel

Short breaths as I write

Fingers taping, rigid fright

Self forced exposure

Yet to write brings me closure

So many mixed thoughts

Frustrated feelings, emotions

Am I going to push through, be true?

Perfect love it drives out fear

Wipes away the pain and tears

These fears are of my yesterdays

Times when I did not know praise

Rejections from a time unloving

I know the truth, my spirit’s moving

Filling my life, my heart, my soul

Love never gives a fear based goal

That is those who love control

Just triggers, not really forms of stress

Living in light, it’s far less headmess

 I am loved

I know love

I give love

If rejection comes, it creates space

Living imperfection saved by grace

Times set in quiet, then brought out of my pit

I know this pattern, many times I’ve lived it

There is no rule to be pleasing to all

I’ll be joyful and at peace before God

Not bowing down making myself fit

I’ve played that game and now I’ve quit

Recreating self to a mould of another

Brother, sister, friend or lover

Appeasing other, yet denying me

My creation designed in love not seen

Growing from the inside

Eyes opened wide

Loved by the divine

In this space and time

Guided by His Spirit

Mind never stopping

But loving, loyal, kind

A self inflicted heartache

Processing my mind

Brought on by the not knowing

Multiplied in self rejection

And stewed in world seen failure

Am I truly living if I don’t let me out of the box?

Be brave, I am more than the cast of my past.

*********************************************************

This poem was inspired by a little wooden box I have on my coffee table. It has the serenity prayer engraved on the lid. I wrote it quickly and just shared the thoughts that came to me in my quiet time of pondering.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

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