Flower of gold

Photo taken by a friend

Photo taken by a friend

Flower of gold

by Alienhippy

Come hear my song of brightened delight

Bathed in this glory of radiant white

Alone I rise from this sea of doubt

Head held high yet the odd one out

~

Gaze at my beauty I’m not like the rest

Gentle and sweet always giving my best

Rooted firmly and protected I stand

Forsaken in a crowd but safe in His hand

~

Reaching heart, eyes open to the sky

Accepted in love not questioning why

Radiant in this glory my spirit runs free

Shining like a star and living to be me

~

Swayed by the breeze I’ll bend not break

Alive and growing no longer playing fake

Unique by design this truth I confess

Created to be remarkable, different not less

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You can read more about me by following the link below.

Alienhippy’s Blog “A place where I can be me!”

Escape from my spiral

Click on image for more amazing photos

Escape from my spiral

by Alienhippy

Hollow calls beckon into the darkness of silence

My heart rips as soul is dragged into its empty cavern

A sealed fate of unenlightened despair

Bleeding me of my being, sucking at my energy

Stop your ways you creature of not knowing, you will not win

Stop with your lies you blackened beast, this cave has a way out

This inviting twilight, a glimpse, a glimmer of inbetween

Fragments of a memory will not hinder my voice

An awakened rapturous hold takes me better ways

The illumination of this inner call

So tenderly spoken, a loving whisper

Bringing me up out of my spiral, my twirling doom

Away from its gravitational pull on my mind

I have a voice and as my worth grows you weaken

I can fight you with words, heart words victorious

Your terrors are not my prison any more

Escape your fear, I am no child under tyrant’s restraint

Climbing heart, learning mind, lifted spirit

Levitated from your darkened crevice

I will not be silenced any longer, I will not be caged

I will live and breathe and speak and be

And, I will love

Even from the depths of my pit

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You can read more about me by following the link below.

Alienhippy’s Blog “A place where I can be me!”

Don’t follow the crowd

Don’t follow the crowd

by Alienhippy

Don’t follow the crowd they’re all too loud

With clever words and voices

Sit and be still and see past the thrill

Of opinionated choices

~

It’s all down to me which way I will go

I have my own heart and mind

Go with the mass even though it seems crass

Or pray, wait and see what I find

~

When cornered and beaten in silence He stayed

I know in my heart that His heart would have prayed

The accuser with motive blamed for things never done

God’s love is so deep that He gave up His Son

~

So, I stand alone

Knowing God guides me home.

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You can read more about me if you follow the link below

Alienhippy’s Blog, “A place where I can be me!”

Love Light, Shine Bright

Photo taken with my Blackberry mobile

Love Light, Shine Bright

by Alienhippy

Crushed heart? Mocked spirit? Hidden light?

Don’t go there gentle child

All lies upon lies that feed your mind

None of them truth but silent teases

Empty out these thoughts, those taunts

And breathe in them never more

~

Cleansed in a sacrificial love

Your walk pleasing your heart is filled

Your soul lifted and daily bathed in grace

Shine and be all that you are

This slate has been washed clean

Now let there be a you in this world

~

Do not doubt and hide your face

Wrapping yourself in invisible blacks

Instead let this love light shine so bright

Giving heart to those who pass

Let your light shine bright before you, before all

Seeing worth, knowing truth, giving hope

~

And praise your Father in heaven

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Mirror Tree Speaks

Taken with BlackBerry mobile
Click on photo to enlarge

Mirror Tree Speaks

by Alienhippy

Emptiness it screams, as the silhouettes of yesterday breach my tomorrow

The sheer expanse of melancholy illusion, scratching fingers of burning loss

Pain engulfs but does not belong, it is for another

Time and place unknown, it beckons… so enticing

So invited into the darkened shadows, they tantalise my stream

What is this aching void this fear of feeling and depth that I should let it in?

I stand strong and I breathe, knowing that I belong

~

Growth, a season, a cycle, lapse reminiscence yet familiar

Forgotten then brought to life, vacuous memories now become fruit

Rooted I am in substance, as deep below as I am tall

In the shadows I stand and in my stillness I breathe

Light surrounds me, nurtures me, touching each glimpse of unknown

Within the core of my being I am fed, time shall pass, death brings new life

I stand strong and I breathe, knowing that I belong

~

Cast away exhaustion, travail making room for the new

Joyfully dancing as each breath takes me forward

Firm yet supple, bend with trials and not break, humbly I bow

My way stands strong, creation accepted, it’s who I am

For a duration, I contribute to life in my fullness and my emptiness

I fall but from my deepness I will rebirth

I stand strong and I breathe, knowing that I belong

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I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be

(Psalm 139:14-15, NIV)

Emotions let loose

Meltdown shutdown in paint

Emotions let loose

by Alienhippy

I.

Crushed crippled insides

Grafted piety erodes my soul

Attackers voice, loud accuser

Internal wrench of past pain

Constant battering of imaginings

A need of expression

Aching, craving, longing

II.

I yearn humbled seekers

Seekers of the still

Come comforter enter

My Hazenland of desperation

Another soul searcher to rest

Trapped in lonely wanderings

Tainted emptiness ever present

III.

Always teasing, taunting

Away you scars of venom

Cracking this mind to darkened want

Pressing, poking, pushing

Spiked corner of isolation

Spoken or swallowed?

Digested be these fearsome words

IV.

The unyielding nag of deception

Frantic and irrational verging on paranoia

Addicted to abusive mistakes

Patterns pressing deeper

Into this scarlet blood swelled abyss

Solitude, but not peace filled

An island of not knowing

V.

Too confused

Too loud, too bright,

Too obsessive, too demanding

Too passionate

Too sensual

Too many, too much, too much

Too much of everything

VI.

Explosive internal cravings

This heavy drain of guilt

Those judging eyes

They tell of my wretchedness

Or is it their own?

I cling to truth

Knowing I am enough

VII.

I know love

I am loved

He is love

I. how the religious can sometimes make me feel

II. yearning for spiritual connection and communication

III. my sin and fear, self judgement after being in a religious sect

IV. confusion caused by absorbing the emotions of others

V. how this world can sometimes make me feel

VI. how people can sometimes make me feel

VII. giving it all to God

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NOTE: Hazenland is an imaginary world, a place of escape and acceptance.

The Still Small Voice

image from Google

The Still Small Voice

by Alienhippy

I wish I wasn’t so intense

Because it causes so much stress

My thoughts and feelings pour from me

Then I’m left in one big mess

Not knowing if I’ve said too much

Or worded it the right way

I know I’m honest and speak my truth

But do I always have to say

What’s on my heart and in my head

Can’t I just not care instead

It seems to be the most popular way

But I guess today, I just need to pray

The still small voice I hear

Calms my fear

As tears roll down my face

I am comforted by His grace

Moment of expression

Moment of expression

by Alienhippy

Moment of expression

Sitting, writing no more time for hiding

Not finding the right words

Knowing they will flow

If only I let go and allow myself to be

Wanting to be real

Is this fear that’s taking hold?

This tightening I feel

Short breaths as I write

Fingers taping, rigid fright

Self forced exposure

Yet to write brings me closure

So many mixed thoughts

Frustrated feelings, emotions

Am I going to push through, be true?

Perfect love it drives out fear

Wipes away the pain and tears

These fears are of my yesterdays

Times when I did not know praise

Rejections from a time unloving

I know the truth, my spirit’s moving

Filling my life, my heart, my soul

Love never gives a fear based goal

That is those who love control

Just triggers, not really forms of stress

Living in light, it’s far less headmess

 I am loved

I know love

I give love

If rejection comes, it creates space

Living imperfection saved by grace

Times set in quiet, then brought out of my pit

I know this pattern, many times I’ve lived it

There is no rule to be pleasing to all

I’ll be joyful and at peace before God

Not bowing down making myself fit

I’ve played that game and now I’ve quit

Recreating self to a mould of another

Brother, sister, friend or lover

Appeasing other, yet denying me

My creation designed in love not seen

Growing from the inside

Eyes opened wide

Loved by the divine

In this space and time

Guided by His Spirit

Mind never stopping

But loving, loyal, kind

A self inflicted heartache

Processing my mind

Brought on by the not knowing

Multiplied in self rejection

And stewed in world seen failure

Am I truly living if I don’t let me out of the box?

Be brave, I am more than the cast of my past.

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This poem was inspired by a little wooden box I have on my coffee table. It has the serenity prayer engraved on the lid. I wrote it quickly and just shared the thoughts that came to me in my quiet time of pondering.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Girl with Aspergers

Girl with Aspergers

by Alienhippy

Did you walk through the trees?

Searching for the imaginary friends

That this world had taken from you

Did you call out their names?

Thinking they would return

They had gone to safety in the woods

Did you sit alone on a swing?

Praying for a friend

Who accepted you for you

The one you never had to hide from

Did you stare at the moon?

Ask if your friend would come soon

Then smile as you heard

A whisper inside saying,

“Yes my precious child be patient,

they are looking at the moon and waiting just like you are.”

~

“The worst feeling isn’t being lonely.

It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.”

How true this is we love and give our hearts

They become part of us

We have no other way

We can’t switch people off

We can choose to live in love or not

But how amazing it is

When who we are is accepted and loved

What we give from our hearts

Is received, not rejected

Those gifts of friendship from God

Make all those prayers worthwhile

Little glimpses of heaven

Inside those special friends

That God handpicked for each of us.

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Thoughts inspired from a comment I left on this post,

Slumbered Dreams by ~Samantha Craft (Everyday Aspergers)

You can read more about why I wrote this poem by following the link below.

Alienhippy’s Blog

“A place where I can be me!”