I don a mask for every day

Image from Google

I don a mask for every day

by Alienhippy

I don a mask for every day

Slip out the door my head will pray

I speak the words my heart will hear

Protect me Lord from all this fear

~

As I’m walking through this day

Give me ears for what you say

With faith my hope will always please

You’ll bring these loops down to their knee

~

These masks can go and I can be

Wonderfully Wired created to be me

Seeing through your eyes, born unique

Living in acceptance gratefully I seek

~

Your Son will help me fully live

Not for myself but learning to give

And in my life your love will flow

My feet and heart will gladly go

~

To every corner that’s in darkness

Tell my story share this gladness

You came to me to heal my pain

In your love, I trust love again

~

Just like a child without restrictions

No tortured confines, obsessive addictions

But giving freely and believing in you

To guide my life and get me through

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“I don a mask for every day”

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“A place where I can be me!”

Forgiven

Forgiven

by Alienhippy

My precious child stop running wild

This chaos I’ll protect you from

Look to me, seek my face

You are my gentle one

~

You hurt much deeper than most do

My quiet voice will call to you

Know I’ll always love you dearly

Just Be Still and listen calmly

~

This world has got its own agenda

I know this plan is hard to bear

Set apart refined like silver

Just call to me and KNOW I’m there

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“A place where I can be me!”

The Land of the Cleaning Disorder

The Land of the Cleaning Disorder

(Inspired by dropping my breakfast.)

by Alienhippy

Have you ever noticed, when you drop toast

It lands with the butter side down?

Dog hair, Cat hair sometimes even Budgie seed

Stuck in the butter so you frown…

At the Dog as he sits and drools

Pop another slice in, now you have some rules

To stop that OCD, and freaking out again (*a-gen)

Calm yourself down, count to ten

Then think of the time when you had that disorder

Cleaning till your hands bled, verging on the border

Of insanity

You see

My house was once perfect

You could eat off the carpet

Sterilized everything, was my house law

Forbidden was footwear and nowhere was Cat hair

And Dogs were not allowed through my door

Dirty, Smelly creatures dribbling everywhere

Messing my perfection, I didn’t even care

How uncomfortable my house was

For people visiting, throwing them a coaster

Making sure they’re keeping

My immaculate little cell

As pure as it can be

Walking around the kitchen

Mopping spills I cannot see

Plumping up the cushions before guests even leave

Busy, busy cleaning, only I deceive

Myself, because later in my bed

The thoughts going round my head are;

  • Did I comb the tassels on the rug?
  • I have left a wine glass in the sink!
  • I must polish the light bulbs with essential oil in the morning!
  • Is the kettle two inches away from the wall, with the flex on the right?

I ended up 6 stone 2, and my hair went thin

I didn’t think enough about the bleach in my skin

Or the time spent re-cleaning every single day

Re-organising toy boxes, but never time to play

Thank God, I saw the light!

What a strange place to see

The land of cleaning OCD

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“A place where I can be me!”

Only “Alien” on the outside!

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I have come to partake of your planet. It is the most wonderful, ponderous and splendid of all that are created. I’m hoping to spend around 80 years here, my journey through could be longer or shorter, I really don’t know. I have been given everything I need to survive my time here, until moving on.

My first accommodation I found to be the most hospitable, although other Alien’s may disagree. I didn’t have to breathe pollution of any sort from anywhere. I was welcome, accepted and wanted. I just felt warm and surrounded and spent my time listening to the constant beat of a mother’s heart. She was a young vessel only 19 of your earth years had passed for her, still a child really. Then she became my teacher/provider and I SO needed her in my helpless/defenceless state. She nurtured me well and always protected.

Although I have been created to look, speak, and be like you in every way, there are parts of me that are constantly confused by this world’s ways. I’m probably more than halfway through my time here now, I’m only just realising what complex creations we are. But also how beautifully unique and perfectly made each and every one of us is. How precious we can all choose to be!

Most of my time here so far has been spent observing and imitating personalities and characteristics. Desperately trying not to give away my Alien nature. My makeup is that little bit different, it’s even been given some names by some of your clever folk here. I come under a HUGE spectrum that is now called ASD.

In the first 40 years of my journey I had no real understanding that this ASD was hidden in my being. I only know me and my ways so I just believed that I would always be an observer. That I would be constantly looking in at all the beautiful things you all get to enjoy through each other. I never felt invited to come play, laugh, feel, relax and be a friend as myself. So I wore a mask and always knew I was a fake.

True friendship is so important, there is so much we can give to one another and so much for our hearts to learn. The creator came and walked here on this planet, he chose 12 friends. He shared with them who He was and expressed His deepest thoughts and feelings. Together they walked, talked, ate, drank, sang, laughed, wept and prayed.

That deep inner need to be close and connected has been put in me too. We are all creations of the creator and made in His likeness. Something stops me though, it’s like a pollution I carry from the ways of this world. Fear and pain have caused me to cocoon myself in the hard shell of my own safe little cell.

Recently though things have changed, your basic primitive earth technology has given me a way to express. To be close and connected with those who accept my ways and also those who are like me in their ways. This has made my existence here much happier than I can remember. It has also brought about personal understanding, growth and tears. But tears are good they are needed, without them we are emotionally switched off and unable to give from the heart.

All of the things I have wanted to express, that some have mocked me for, are now not seen as foolish. The one thing missing is touch, something I have shied away from but now understand. Even so these connections are on my heart every day and are a light and beacon of hope.

So in my imaginary day today, and imaginary days for Aliens are AMAZING, I will take my offspring to a beautiful beach where they can play with other Aliens. Maybe collect seashells in a bucket while I chat. Then later we will all go to a tea-party with the closest of friends where we will be able to play, laugh, talk and sing feeling relaxed in those precious moments. My protective cell will not be required because who I am is welcome, accepted and wanted, I have learnt to trust.

My NEW accommodation that has been received is a palace for a princess and it is being renewed internally day by day. Over my next 40 years (God willing) I will learn to listen and navigate this vessel always keeping communication open with the Father of all.

2 Corinthians 4:1-18 (Treasures in Jars of Clay)

V16-18

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

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If you are easily offended by bad language, sexual scenes or self harming

DO NOT PLAY THIS VIDEO!!!

 This video is added for me personally as it is REAL and speaks to me.

You can read more about me by following the link below

Alienhippy’s Blog

“A place where I can be me!”

When I’m cleaning windows!

When I’m cleaning windows!

by Alienhippy

I was silly I sacked my window cleaner, but he never wiped down my window sills

And he broke my guttering with his ladder, I would reluctantly pay off his bills

So now, when I’M cleaning windows, my thoughts and my loops I record

Because sometimes the ideas I have, I believe might have come from the Lord

~

Today I had an idea and I’ve put this one straight into action

I spoke to my family about it, then held my breath awaited reaction

I don’t want to live in a magazine, I want to live in a home

I once had my home like a centre spread, but inside I felt so alone

~

I cleaned and preened for wrong reasons, trying to stop myself feeling like trash

Not seeing a Princess in her castle, just Cinderella and covered in ash

I like my home clean and tidy, I like everything to have a place

But if my kids just mess it back up, I want my heart to give them some grace

~

I don’t want to rant and rave at them, because my perfect little cell is destroyed

But I’ve got to find a bloody balance, because at the moment I just get annoyed

I’ve been taking myself away from the mess, it’s all too distracting for my brain

I go off and hide in my bedroom, then I sit and rock in my pain

~

At the thought of all this stinkin housework, that needs to keep being redone

I did all the same jobs yesterday, come on kids, this REALLY ain’t NO fun

Your poor old Mom would rather be blogging, writing poems, painting, singing with my guitar

Not seeing ALL this junk around me, then going out just to be in my car

~

So I’ve decided to give you each a space, where you can keep all of your mess

And I will be keeping the conservatory, as my sanctuary, free from clutter and stress

Mr Locoman I’ve given you the caravan , as an office and chill out zone

That way the dining room is kept clear, from all the paperwork you keep bringing home

~

kids you can have the big telly, I don’t really need a large screen

I’m quite happy in my imagination, it’s SO nice living there in my daydreams

BUT…You each have a room of your own, with cupboards to keep your things in

If they keep making their way down the stairs…Charity Shop…eBay or there’s the bin.

~

So while I’m cleaning these windows, and writing my thoughts down in rhyme

We’re each in our own little bubble, and we’re all having such a great time

You can read more about me by following the link below

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“A place where I can be me!”

Metaphorical Shoe (for the ladies)

Image from Google

Metaphorical Shoe

by Alienhippy

My first lover was like a brightly coloured designer shoe

Well expensive and not really thought through

I changed my whole wardrobe so he was accommodated

Nothing else was good enough, my pride had been inflated

Actually……….

He was like a brightly coloured designer stiletto

He was loud and tall and raring to go

My whole self image was built around him

and when he was gone I just couldn’t fit in

Actually……….

He was like a badly fitted, high heeled, designer stiletto sling-back

wait for it………. in bright RED

He was totally impractical but I was tempted and led

The outside looked great but I felt bruised and battered

But without the shoes my ensemble would be shattered

Now……….

Designer shoes should enhance you, not make your feet feel sore

You can’t wear them at home, they put holes in all ya floors

They shouldn’t pinch or squeeze, or stop you from being you

And when you take them off, you should still walk, it’s true!

The shoe is meant to enhance, to comfort and complete you

Not cripple, twist and maim, change, control and bruise you

Don’t let them make you feel, that without them you will die

When your arches touch the ground, then you’ll question why???

You fell for all that gloss, un-comfort, and restriction

The scantiness, the dictation, the pain, the cost, the friction.

So……….

When you look for ‘SHOES’ because you want to go dancing again (*a-gen*)

I’ll shout from my experience

“GOD BLESS THEM SLIPPER MEN!!!!!”

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Ego massage-message

Ego massage-message

by Alienhippy

I am sitting on my bed

Listening to the argument

Of words within my head

A TV slot, not forgot

Where in less than 60 minutes

A TRIBE of educated scholars

With their banter

Oh….. what horrors

As they ripped the very fibre

From the general public

With their quick and harsh

Debate on Questions 3

What I could see

Was gratified egos

And hate for those of other mind

Who can find the answers by not knowing?

  1. How do we get our country out of debt?
  2. Are Fathers as important as Mothers?
  3. Does GOD really exist?

As I watch

A young and gentle man

Not much older than my son

Is verbally attacked

His mind is hacked by long words

He probably has never heard

The tears roll down his face

I’m longing to embrace his soul and gentle spirit

But they keep hacking at it

With their puffed up opinions,

Rehearse reason,

Highbrow howling

Without wisdom

They do not listen

They beat him down

And for that last camera shot

I watch the light leave his eyes

Their job is done,  they won

Their words for 60 minutes

Have been going round my head

My  tears for 60 minutes

Have been spilt upon my bed

I’m reminded of their argument

How they had to have their say

I sit upon my bed

……..and I pray

and their words

melt away!

The words that remain, keep me sane ….(1 CORINTHIANS 8:1a-3)

We know that we all possess knowledge.

Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up

The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know

But the man who loves God is known by God.

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PEGS

PEGS

by Alienhippy

Trapped inside this world for so long

Forgotten what it’s like to dream

Crushed inside a mould that’s not mine

Where who I am is never seen

~

Square peg, round hole is what I’m thinking

There’s never been a way to fit

They’ve ground me down and stole my edges

But now, today, I say, “I QUIT!!!”

~

I’m Sick of being so bloody normal

It might be them, but it’s not me

I’m changing, claiming, growing edges

I want to be, who I should be

~

I might be different, but I am unique

Buckets of talent for me to claim

There are plenty of round pegs on this planet

Why just fit and be the same?

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I wrote this poem in January 2009

To read more about me just follow the link below.

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Perfectionism.

Perfectionism.

by Alienhippy

I was a quiet and lonely kid, with a very low self esteem

My friends went out and lived their lives, while I lived in a day dream

 ~

Too afraid to do much else, I waited for support

I’d go and do with friends on side, without, I’d go back to thought

~

Too long spent in self judgement, self analysis and guilt

How can I live when my brain don’t stop, tearing down what God has built

 ~

So I’m treating myself by being nice, kind, loving and self-aware

I don’t give a shit what others think, ‘Cause for this temple I must care

 ~

I’ve spent my whole life putting me down, not seeing just who I am

Never allowing myself to achieve, but now I’m saying, “I can!”

 ~

I don’t expect to be perfect, I’m only human after all

I’m going to try, and believe that God, will catch me when I fall

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I wrote this poem at the beginning of 2008.

You can read more about me if you follow the link below.

Alienhippy’s Blog